Phi Theta Kappa Seal
In which our hero offers, humbly, the essay version of a speech he planned to give to Edison’s PTK chapter last month; he was prevented from boring members, inductees, and their families to tears when his spine dissolved into sawdust. Posted so both interested PTK members can forward it to their homies in a DM tweet led by some hashtaggy version of tl;dr.
I was in a hurry to leave college. You’ll note, twenty years on, I was mostly unsuccessful. Given my haste, I never thought to petition an honorary society. Nor, I should add, did any invite me.
Got More Rattlers Than A Newborn Baby
My workspace was destined to someday become littered with pill bottles; but I dreamed I’d be, you know, cool about it.
Like Johnny Cash, or Elvis, or Marc Bolan.
Turns out I’m Anna Nicole Smith.
Em, Green Day, Flying V. Time of our lives.
The apocalypse is sort of my literary beat, so I enjoyed this piece in The Appendix from Daniel Salas:
“Radio-frequency identification technology thus merely figures as the latest supposed harbinger of the end times in a culture obsessed with both the apocalypse and technology.”