— Dale Marlowe (@stevemarlowe) December 9, 2014
In which our hero offers, humbly, the essay version of a speech he planned to give to Edison’s PTK chapter last month; he was prevented from boring members, inductees, and their families to tears when his spine dissolved into sawdust. Posted so both interested PTK members can forward it to their homies in a DM tweet led by some hashtaggy version of tl;dr.
I was in a hurry to leave college. You’ll note, twenty years on, I was mostly unsuccessful. Given my haste, I never thought to petition an honorary society. Nor, I should add, did any invite me.
My workspace was destined to someday become littered with pill bottles; but I dreamed I’d be, you know, cool about it.
Like Johnny Cash, or Elvis, or Marc Bolan.
Turns out I’m Anna Nicole Smith.
Em, Green Day, Flying V. Time of our lives.